Posts tagged Arousing

Love this picture. Very true definition of some things that sex-positive means to me…

Shoutout to @airialclark for posting it so I could share it! :)

6healthy, arousing, positive, pleasurable, educated, loveyourself, makedecisionsforyou, patience, peerpressure, personalchoices, respectyourself, sexpositive,

Is it possible for all women to squirt? How does it happen, and where does the fluid come from? Isn't it really just urine?

Oh, female ejaculation. It’s such a puzzle for our minds isn’t it?!

Some have said once the proper technique is learned, female ejaculation is possible for all women, and of course others say it isn’t possible for all women to experience because all women and orgasms are different.

It is most likely to happen with continual G-spot stimulation or intense stimulus of the vulva with either a penis, hand, or another object. 

Because female ejaculation is produced and passes through the urethra, it is a common belief that it’s just urine. However, this isn’t the case!

If you need more information about finding the G-Spot, how to stimulate it, or anything like that - definitely let me know! ;) Hope this answers your questions!

As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!

- E.

The CSPH: Word Of The Day: areola f


Today we’re getting back to anatomy: starting with the areola.

If you’ve got nipples, you have areolae! The term ‘areola’ refers specifically to the colored area (usually roughly circular in shape) around the nipple, and varies in shape, size, and pigmentation across the population. Most of…

I know that’s right!! You use the right terminology CSPH!! Love it! Love Areolas!! Yay for Thursday night Word of the Day!

Source: thecsph

6healthy, arousing, positive, pleasurable, educated, areola, embraceyourboobs, loveyourself, beautifulbodies, womenshealth, breastawareness,

I recently started having sex with my boyfriend and he's well... On the bigger size scale than my first. Every time we have sex though it's like having sex for the very first time, pain and bleeding included. Is this normal?

Hey Anon -

I have a feeling this the same person, and their question just got submitted twice. However, I just posted about this same topic! Check out my reply, and don’t hesitate to ask follow up questions if you still need answers!! Thanks for submitting your question! <3.

As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!

- E.

My boyfriend's penis is.... just big period. Well every time we've had sex but once it has been like virginity losing sex. It has been uncomfortable and I have bled. Is this okay and what should I do because this can't keep happening? =/

Honestly, there are many causes for vaginal pain during sex, but I picked a few applicable and more likely for your question. As a proud vagina possessor myself, it’s very important that you know nothing is wrong with you or your beautiful vagina! Although not extremely common, many women do report vaginal pain like you describe! So the good news is, you are not alone (Queue Michael Jackson please…and yes, I just sang the lyrics as I typed those words LOL).

Before I get in the groove, after reading your question, something must be made perfectly clear: Whenever sex is painful or uncomfortable for eitherparty involved, stop having sex people!!!

Yes, I’m aware this is a scary concept. However, one can only hope you agree that freedom from vaginal pain and the ability to THOUROUGHLY ENJOY sex with your partner is top priority at this point!! So, in order to appreciate sex in its true amazing-ness (which you undoubtedly deserve btw), your vagina needs a small break baby - okay? Thankfully, there are plenty alternative sexual activities you two can discover together in the meantime, and who knows – maybe you’ll unearth a favorite act of foreplay through all this exploration ;)

Here are the possibilities for your vaginal pain I believe address your questions and concerns:


  • Your vagina may be defending itself from the “evil gigantic penis” that belongs to your boo, due to this pain being felt every time you have sex. What I mean by defending itself is that your vagina is (for lack of a better word) “tightening up” in effort to protect itself from pain.
  • In addition to your super hero protective vagina, your body is likely experiencing high anxiety because it’s now expecting pain during sex. For most women, their state of arousal and relaxation leading up to having sex determines whether a vagina feels “loose” or “tight”. Therefore, it makes sense your anxiety amplifies the “tightening” feeling and pain. 
  • Without knowing specifics of your boyfriend’s penis size - if he’s bigger in length than in width, it’s possible his penis is inserted deeply enough that it’s causing you vaginal pain. Sometimes, this situation can be remedied with different sexual positions that allow you to control how deep his penis is inserted.  

Please keep in mind, these options I listed do not provide substitution for visiting your lovely gynecologist! If you’re experiencing pain even after you two are waiting for full arousal, lubrication, and relaxation to occur - the source of your vaginal pain must be discussed with a doctor. This is especially true if vaginal pain is also experienced when not having sex, because treating and resolving this pain is the most important concern.

Some things to plan on discussing with your doctor:

  • Whether pain is located in the opening or the back of your vagina
  • Whether is happens constantly during sex and/or when not having sex
  • How long you’ve been experiencing the pain
  • (If applicable) Is the pain only present with current sexual partner, or all sexual partners
  • Was the pain eased with application of lubricant?

As if this answer hasn’t already developed into a short novel, you definitely need to discuss the occurrence of blood during sex. The doctor should be aware of this because, while it’s normal for a little bleeding – as well as no bleeding – to occur after the first few times you initially have sex, once you’ve been sexually active, bleeding during sex needs to be examined.


I hope this answers your question, and hopefully it wasn’t too much information all at once. Vaginal pain during sex is not a short and sweet, to the point sort of discussion. However, if I didn’t give enough information for you,  please don’t hesitate to follow up with more questions! There are never too many questions when it comes to your sexual health!! <3.


As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!

- E.

Marriage And Sex: Scheduling Intimacy Can Improve Both f

This is a really interesting perspective on scheduling sex for married couples (which would work for any couple in all honesty…)

I’ve always been a fan of spontaneous sex to warm things up and keep it interesting, but I kinda agree with some of the points in this article to be honest. What are your thoughts?!

6healthy, arousing, positive, pleasurable, educated, schedulingsex, relationships, busylife, sexlivesofmarriedfolk, marriage, committedrelationships, healthysexlives,

So, men fake orgasms?? But how often??? f

If your not stimulated ie hard nipples,plumped lips,etc when having sex,does it mean your not interested or actually something physical ?

It doesn’t have to mean a lack of interest or something physical to be honest. It could just be that the type of stimulation that’s happening (whether that’s touching, kissing, rubbing, etc.) might not be the type of stimulation that arouses you.

If you try multiple types of stimulation and still experience no physical response with your body, but you still feel aroused and are able to achieve orgasm or reach a higher climax level than normal - I wouldn’t worry.

It’s also important for you not to associate hard nipples with happy nipples! Just because a nipple is hard, does not mean it’s due to arousal or a “feel good” stimulation. In fact, it can sometimes happen because of a negative or painful stimulation as well.

There are multiple ways for arousal and stimulation to show on your body - such as dilated pupils, spasms or tremors, curled toes, increased heart rate, shorter and faster breathing patterns, etc. If you want to get some ideas on different forms of nipple stimulation - I can definitely provide you with those!! 

You may just need some alone-time to explore your body with multiple forms of self-stimulation to figure out what your body responds to. Once you figure that out, you can either relay the information to your partner, or show them how to stimulate your body in the right way. It’s different for every individual!! :)

Overall, I wouldn’t worry too much if those two things aren’t showing up during sex - with all the other physical ways your body (regardless of ones sex) present interest and arousal! It doesn’t always mean something physically is wrong with you, however I am not a doctor.

With that being said, if you really are worried about it (which could be part of the reason why you’re not seeing physical “signs” of arousal - because your mind is too focused more on that than the physical act of sex that’s happening), there’s nothing wrong with asking a doctor about it!!

Hopefully that answers your question!! I could talk about arousal FOREVER, so don’t hesitate to ask for more specifics or clarification!! <3.

As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!

- E.

Sources: Guide to Getting It On - Paul Joannides & Real Sex for Real Women: Intimacy, Pleasure, & Sexual Wellbeing - Laura Berman, PhD

Flirting is a big problem for me,is it bad to do if your in a relationship but you flirt with other people?

I think the answer to this question depends on the type of relationship you have with your partner. Ask yourself this: If your partner was present and witnessing the flirting as it was happening, would they be upset or hurt? Your answer to this question will be influenced by the style of relationship discussed between you and your partner and hopefully the parameters set by you and your partner previously for that particular relationship style.

If the answer is yes, then maybe it’s time to think about why you feel compelled to flirt with another person or other people. Is something in your relationship causing you to loose interest to where you don’t enjoy/like/love that same time of flirtation with your partner? If so, maybe a conversation should happen between you and your partner to figure out what has changed for you, and whether or not it’s something that can be/that you want to be fixed.

Now, if the flirting is causing you to be hot and heavy for sexual activities with your partner, then I personally don’t see the harm in that. It seems comparable to watching porn with your partner or before you see your partner or reading erotica to submerse yourself in a fantasy, creating arousal for you before sexual activity occurs between you and your partner. The problem arises, once the person(s) you’re flirting with become the focus of your arousal instead of your partner to the point where in order for you to be aroused, you must think of that person in order to get aroused with your partner.

However, with saying that, I think this also greatly depends on the type of relationship style decided on that defines you and your partners relationship.

Hope this helps you anon! <3

As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!

- E.

Washington Post f

Have you used a dating app before?! If so (and you wouldn’t mind sharing), how was it? Did you like it? Why or why not? I’m curious for responses because they seem to be getting more and more popular!!

6healthy, arousing, positive, pleasurable, educated, dating app, online dating, personal experiences, finding love online, dating, relationships,

Sexy. Love this intimacy. It&#8217;s such an important aspect of relationships that people easily forget about way too often. #stayintimate #loveeachother #desireoneanother
Focal Length

Sexy. Love this intimacy. It’s such an important aspect of relationships that people easily forget about way too often. #stayintimate #loveeachother #desireoneanother

(via fyintimacy)


6Healthy, Arousing, Positive, Pleasurable, Educated, Love, Desire, Intimacy,

Libido Talk Radio Spot

This evening I was asked to participate in a dialogue about Sex Toys, Intimacy, and Valentine’s Day!! It was a great opportunity, and we had some great callers share experiences! The radio show is called Libido Talk on the NYC Radio Station 99.5 - it airs on Wednesday’s from 2AM - 3AM.

You can listen to the show from this morning here

 *Just make sure you select the episode from February 8, 2012*

As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talking!!!

- E.

6Healthy, Arousing, Positive, Pleasurable, Educated, Intimacy, Sex Toys, Valentine's Day,

At what point does frequent masterbation be considered an illness?

Well it’s important to first say that Masturbation is an extremely healthy activity to engage in for both men and women!! In fact, when this glorious discovery is first made (especially in the youthful years), it isn’t uncommon for masturbation to occur very frequently!

However, as you get a little older, the only time masturbation can be an “issue” (and I use that term EXTREMELY loosely) is when your need or desire for masturbation interferes with your life. For example: hanging out with your friends or partner(s), from getting to work on time, getting your homework done or studying for an exam, family gatherings, things like that. However, even in this situation it’s just a good idea to try to scale back a little bit!

Another thing to keep in mind: If you are feeling pain while masturbating, and you think it may be due to the frequency of your masturbation - just make sure it isn’t the technique your using that is actually causing you this pain.

Masturbation is beneficial for many reasons: 1) it increases circulation - it may help fight some genital infections and acne by this increase of circulation, 2) increases your orgasm abilities, and 3) enhances sexual experiences with your partner(s)!! 

This last benefit is important because masturbation allows for exploration of your body and finding what helps you achieve orgasm, what feels good, and also what doesn’t. With this type of knowledge, you can then explain or demonstrate these discoveries for your partner which then begins to or continues to build your clear and healthy sexual communication skills!!

With all of this being said, regardless of what society wants you to believe, masturbation is nothing to feel ashamed about, or to be afraid of. It is a natural and healthy aspect of your sexuality! If you’ve never engaged in any form of self-stimulation before, there’s no time like the present to begin! You can always send me questions asking about common methods that are used for both males and females!


As always, say happE, stay sex, and keep talking!!

- E.

Source: The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college, 2007

Is watching porn considered a form of cheating or education?

This definitely depends on the individuals involved in the relationship. However, I personally feel watching porn isn’t cheating if you are honest about it with your partner or if you watch it WITH your partner! The only way that it could potentially cause an issue in your relationship would be if you hide the fact that you enjoy porn!

Porn is definitely an amazing thing to experience with your partner, as long as you understand what is real, humanly possible, and safe vs. what is not (but that rant is for another blog post…lol) ** S.O. to M.Fab since we’ve had that discussion before about what is real in porn?! lol**

Porn can be very educational and may open up a world of experimentation possibilities because you can get ideas or even achieve arousal in different ways!

The bottom line is, make sure you have open and constant communication with your partner about wanting or desiring to watch porn and you might be surprised to find they would enjoy watching it with you!! In this scenario, you can’t loose my friend!!

- E.