Honestly, there are many causes for vaginal pain during sex, but I picked a few applicable and more likely for your question. As a proud vagina possessor myself, it’s very important that you know nothing is wrong with you or your beautiful vagina! Although not extremely common, many women do report vaginal pain like you describe! So the good news is, you are not alone (Queue Michael Jackson please…and yes, I just sang the lyrics as I typed those words LOL).
Before I get in the groove, after reading your question, something must be made perfectly clear: Whenever sex is painful or uncomfortable for eitherparty involved, stop having sex people!!!
Yes, I’m aware this is a scary concept. However, one can only hope you agree that freedom from vaginal pain and the ability to THOUROUGHLY ENJOY sex with your partner is top priority at this point!! So, in order to appreciate sex in its true amazing-ness (which you undoubtedly deserve btw), your vagina needs a small break baby - okay? Thankfully, there are plenty alternative sexual activities you two can discover together in the meantime, and who knows – maybe you’ll unearth a favorite act of foreplay through all this exploration ;)
Here are the possibilities for your vaginal pain I believe address your questions and concerns:
- Your vagina may be defending itself from the “evil gigantic penis” that belongs to your boo, due to this pain being felt every time you have sex. What I mean by defending itself is that your vagina is (for lack of a better word) “tightening up” in effort to protect itself from pain.
- In addition to your super hero protective vagina, your body is likely experiencing high anxiety because it’s now expecting pain during sex. For most women, their state of arousal and relaxation leading up to having sex determines whether a vagina feels “loose” or “tight”. Therefore, it makes sense your anxiety amplifies the “tightening” feeling and pain.
- Without knowing specifics of your boyfriend’s penis size - if he’s bigger in length than in width, it’s possible his penis is inserted deeply enough that it’s causing you vaginal pain. Sometimes, this situation can be remedied with different sexual positions that allow you to control how deep his penis is inserted.
Please keep in mind, these options I listed do not provide substitution for visiting your lovely gynecologist! If you’re experiencing pain even after you two are waiting for full arousal, lubrication, and relaxation to occur - the source of your vaginal pain must be discussed with a doctor. This is especially true if vaginal pain is also experienced when not having sex, because treating and resolving this pain is the most important concern.
Some things to plan on discussing with your doctor:
- Whether pain is located in the opening or the back of your vagina
- Whether is happens constantly during sex and/or when not having sex
- How long you’ve been experiencing the pain
- (If applicable) Is the pain only present with current sexual partner, or all sexual partners
- Was the pain eased with application of lubricant?
As if this answer hasn’t already developed into a short novel, you definitely need to discuss the occurrence of blood during sex. The doctor should be aware of this because, while it’s normal for a little bleeding – as well as no bleeding – to occur after the first few times you initially have sex, once you’ve been sexually active, bleeding during sex needs to be examined.
I hope this answers your question, and hopefully it wasn’t too much information all at once. Vaginal pain during sex is not a short and sweet, to the point sort of discussion. However, if I didn’t give enough information for you, please don’t hesitate to follow up with more questions! There are never too many questions when it comes to your sexual health!! <3.
As always, stay happE, stay sexy, and keep talkin’!!